PART 1

Quote 1: “At the beginning of the piece, he wrote, “this is often what EA comes down to: working hard to earn money and then giving as much of it as you can to the needy”.” I believe I could analyze this quote more effectively. Using one of They Say/I Say’s templates for explaining quotes, I could say something along the lines of “In other words, Effective Altruism is centered around money and donating to charity.” and then go on with my paragraph.

Quote 2: “I think this world would be unlivable without art”. I could use They Say/I Say’s ideas on blending my opinions with the author’s by writing more about Southan’s opinions on the subject. For example, after my quote and my explanation, I could write why I believe Southan did or did not agree with the quote. 

PART 2

I think I could delete Southan’s quote “He even included a formula, which was, “Your Apparent Good Achieved minus the Good Your Counterfactual Replacement Would Have Achieved equals Your Actual Good Achieved””. I think this quote is interesting, but I don’t know how effective it is to my argument. Without this quote, I think the paragraph (the first paragraph on page 3) would be more concise.